When sharing feedback, honesty is important. Lying in this sense is likely seen as benefitting the other person because there’s truly nothing he or she can do in the moment.Ĭonversely, if your significant other does have the capacity to react to the information, honesty is the better choice, Levine says. If there’s nothing your partner can do to improve or make a change in that moment, you might welcome deception, she says. Even if you notice a stain on his or her outfit, or think the speech could use work, think about whether the person has the time to react to the information and control the situation, says Levine. Say your partner asks you how he or she looks right before walking on stage for a speaking event, or enquires about what you think of the speech just prior to reaching the podium.

But saying it just to get your loved one out the door because you’re already late, he says, is where your motive can veer into selfish territory. If you tell your partner he or she looks great before a date to boost his or her self-esteem, that’s one thing, Schweitzer says. Just remember: Lies are most beneficial when they’re not selfish. “People care about whether you have good intentions a lot more than whether the person is being honest per se.” Levine, an assistant professor of behavioral science at The University of Chicago Booth School of Business, who studies honesty and trust.

“People’s primary interest, at least when they receive information and build trust is in benevolence,” says Emma E.

Greater honest toem